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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Online platforms have changed the way
people
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 watch films and performances. Some
Linking Words
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, therefore
show examples
therefore
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therefore,
show examples
 believe that
theatres
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 and cinemas are no longer necessary,
while
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 others argue that they still have economic and cultural value.
Although
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 online entertainment is convenient, I believe these venues remain important because they offer a unique experience and support local economies.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, online entertainment has advantages. Streaming services allow
people
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 to watch films, concerts and plays whenever and wherever they want.
This
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 is usually cheaper than buying tickets, travelling to a venue and paying for parking or food. It
also
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 helps those who live far from cities or cannot travel easily.
For example
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, a family can watch a new film at home without buying several cinema tickets.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 consider traditional venues unnecessary.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
theatres
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 and cinemas offer benefits that online platforms cannot replace. A large screen and high-quality sound make films more enjoyable,
while
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 live performances create a direct connection between actors and the audience. These venues
also
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 provide jobs and attract customers to nearby cafés and restaurants.
Moreover
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,
theatres
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 preserve local stories, languages and traditions by presenting them to new generations.
For example
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, a historical play can help young
people
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 understand their cultural background. For these reasons, I believe these places still play an essential role.
Conclusion
In conclusion, online services make entertainment cheaper and easier to access.
However
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,
theatres
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 and cinemas support the economy, protect culture and offer a special shared experience. In my opinion, they should continue to exist alongside online platforms.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make the answer stronger, add one more clear detail about why online shows may not meet all people’s needs.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic. You could explain the money side in more depth, such as how a cinema brings work to ticket staff, food shops, and nearby places.
task response
Your examples fit well. Try to make one example more real and exact, for example by showing how a local play helps a young person learn about a town or group.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end. Each part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more linking words within long parts to show cause and result. Words such as “because”, “so”, and “as a result” can make links even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
The last part repeats the main view well. You can make it more powerful by briefly linking the shared experience, culture, and work in one final sentence.
task response
You answer every part of the question: the online view, the other view, and your own opinion.
task response
The point about live shows creating a close link between actors and people is strong and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is clear: online benefits first, then the value of theatres and cinemas.
coherence and cohesion
Linking phrases such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” guide the reader well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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