Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. “Fatherhood ought to emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.” To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that women should handle the full responsibility towards their children. I strongly disagree with that statement and believe men must
also
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be responsible.
This
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argument will examine both opinions. On the one hand, being a woman means dreaming of being a mother.
However
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, it is not always correct because there are a vast number of ladies who are not willing to give birth to a child.
Furthermore
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, when the decision has been made, both parents must take the full responsibility of the baby,
such
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as feeding him or her and providing the baby with a safe, warm and happy environment to live in.
For instance
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, mothers are mostly the ones who provide unconditional love and give the biggest, warm hugs that melt the child's heart. Not only that, but
also
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they raise their offspring to be an educated and successful human. That's why motherhood is very beautiful and precious because they can watch their seeds grow.
On the other hand
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, fatherhood is as important as motherhood.
Although
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it is the woman's choice to build a family, the man
also
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gives his decision whether to be a part of it
according to
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his wantings. Moving
next,
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the idea of not including fathers to take care of their offspring is really bothering me, because fathers have a huge role in their children's lives.
Moreover
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, they are the ones who provide them with all their needs, and they are
also
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fully responsible for financial support. Not only that, but
also
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fathers influence their children in many aspects,
such
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as choosing their friends and giving opinions on any topic.
To conclude
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,
although
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I agree that motherhood plays a big role in society, I think fatherhood should
also
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be considered as a part of a successful family system.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each point is clearly explained and connected with clear reasons.
task achievement
Include more examples to support your ideas about fatherhood's importance.
task achievement
Work on your thesis statement to clearly state your stance at the beginning.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure with introduction, body, and conclusion is present, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Co-parenting
  • Shared parenting
  • Gender roles
  • Child-rearing
  • Paternal involvement
  • Maternal responsibility
  • Balance of parental duties
  • Fatherhood
  • Motherhood
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Paternity leave
  • Family dynamics
  • Equal opportunity
  • Caregiver
  • Parental leave policies
  • Gender stereotypes
  • Emotional well-being
  • Child development
  • Custodial rights
  • Familial support
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