Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money

major part

Suggestion

the major part

world

Suggestion

the world

, they have

crowd

Suggestion

a crowd

crowds

of people who do not have

home

Suggestion

a home

homes

to live in. Few people believe that best approach to help them is by giving them

money

This

essay will discuss why I completely disagree with

this

proposition because a handsome amount of

money

requires for sufficing basic needs and it can be misused. To embark on, it requires a plenty of the monetary help for proper rehabilitation of

such

number of people, which is not possible by small contributions. There are many basic needs for which ample amount of support requires

financially

Suggestion

financing

For example

, to provide home for

this

segment of

crowd

Suggestion

the crowd

, it cannot achieve with small contributions. In many countries, there are many people how are sleeping in

street

Suggestion

the street

and don’t have place to cover their heads. In short,

money

cannot be a solution to tackle

this

problem.

Furthermore

, there might be cases when

this

money

used improperly by these people, they could use

this

in alcohols, drugs, and gambling.

Families

Suggestion

The families

such

people would suffer and it does not

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

motive of donating.

For instance

, in many poor countries, we

could found

Suggestion

could find

large number

Suggestion

a large number

of homeless people, addiction by bad habits and if they get

money

easily in donation, they would not realize the

important

Suggestion

importance

of earning

money

. Clearly,

this

wrong idea

Suggestion

a wrong idea

the wrong idea

. In conclusion,

this

essay discussed why

money

is not

the good

Suggestion

the best

way to help homeless people because it cannot completely help with their needs and there is a chance of improper use, if it goes to bad hands. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the proposition that

money

is not the best way to help roofless crowd.

Submitted by testkumar12389 on Wed Jun 05 2019

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for students, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion..

Nowadays, it seems that different generations within the family spend less time doing activities together. Why is that? Is this a positive or negative development?

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one’s experience, as also present the danger of letting influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?