Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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modern era, gender equality is of prime importance. It is considered by few individuals that any deserving candidate, male or female, should be given an opportunity to be employed in the armed forces or police.
While
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others do not like the idea of any lady joining these jobs
due to
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their physical incapability.
This
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essay will examine both sides before presenting my perspective. On the one hand, we discourage gender bias on the basis of caste, sex or race.
This
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implies that everyone has the right to choose his/ her profession. Neglecting females or demotivating them to contribute their knowledge and experience in the country's armed forces will be unjust. Physical strength is not the only criterion for
such
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jobs. Traits
such
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as leadership, management, teamwork and discipline are equally essential. A lady officer can manage her police team with as much wit as a man would.
Thus
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, discriminating against women to enter
such
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professions is undesirable. No one should decide for an individual the choice of career. The right to equality is fundamental and so, should be respected.
On the other hand
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, there are few who argue that being physically fit is the only yardstick for selection in these domains.
Thus
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, only men should join the army or the police. They forget the other skills
such
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as intelligence and patience, vital to perform in these fields. In conclusion, in today's day and age, no girl should feel a glass wall in our democratic society. In my view, any deserving candidate should decide to enter a career of his/ her choice. Judging a person on the basis of gender is unacceptable. Both men and women form the social fabric of society and
therefore
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,should be treated equally.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main arguments that will be discussed. A clear thesis statement helps guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and transition phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Providing specific examples or real-world references can strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well, presenting both sides of the argument before stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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