IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

#childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunise #children #individuals #right
Discussion regarding the topic "Usage of
vaccine
 to
cure
 of childhood diseases" is always a
debate
Suggestion
debatable
 one. To my knowledge, usage of these, is either for prevention or
cure
 the
disease
. Let’s discuss some of the advantages in the following.
Firstly
, For the former Prevention, vaccination should be given must in order to avoid them for the rest of
life
.
For example
, Polio which should
vaccine
 at the early stage of
life
, which may lead to death or leave the child physically challenged. If they become physically challenged,
then
 they need to suffer for the rest of their
life
.
Vaccine
 for
this
 sort of
disease
, is for betterment of
entire
Suggestion
the entire life
an entire life
life
.
For
Suggestion
To
 the latter point, immunize the children in order not get it once more in a lifetime.
For Example
, Chicken pox is the one which will show up at the early stage of childhood, may be under five years. Vaccination for these should be must as a
cure
. It’s not considered as
deadly
Suggestion
dead
, Nowadays, but when we consider the past lot of lives are lost because of it. Considering the other side of the coin, continues usage of
vaccine
Suggestion
the vaccine
vaccines
 may hamper the development of natural immune system. Some of the kids are dependent on medicine as
natural immune system
Suggestion
a natural immune system
 was damaged because of
medicine
Suggestion
the medicine
. They should depend on the
vaccine
through out
all the way through
throughout
 their
life
 and sometimes it may lead to
situation
Suggestion
a situation
the situation
situations
, where usage of them will not
cure
 the
disease
. In conclusion, Usage of immune for the
disease
 is good for
life
, if it was not a habitat
Submitted by chigurupati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: