The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Citizens' life expectancy
has becoming
Suggestion
was becoming
is becoming
has become
a serious issue for several countries in the world lately. It is believed that people's
health
standard is predicted to get lower than the current state. I personally agree with
this
statement.
This
essay will explain the reason why I believe it is true and provide some related examples regarding it.
First
and foremost, people, especially workers in big cities, have to deal with traffic congestion every single working day. They spend most of their time in the office and on the road.
Moreover
, the long office hours are not enough for them to meet the work deadlines. So, most of
times
Suggestion
the times
, those employees have to finish their work after arriving at home.
This
daily routine makes
city dwellers lack
Suggestion
the city dwellers lack
of time,
for example
to sleep, do physical activities, and pick their healthy food. They end up choosing fast and processed food
instead
.
Second
, by committing to that daily routine and lifestyle, people ruin their own biological clock which leads to several
health
problems, namely hypertension, obesity, and cancer. These noncommunicable diseases are listed in three most deadly diseases in the world according to WHO. The number of people's mortality caused by
those
plural of "this"
these
diseases
are increasing
Suggestion
is increasing
year by year.
This
fact proves that the people's
health
is decreasing and can be worse years ahead. In conclusion, I agree with the statement of standard of people's
health
is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.
This
prediction can be logically explained by analysing the current people's sedentary lifestyle, food consumption, and stress induced by work-related issues.
Submitted by mega.watty1994 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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