Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree.

The importance of health education in the prevention of illnesses
such
as diabetes, obesity and cardiovascular diseases in crucial. Despite that, I believe
scools
an educational institution
schools
souls
do not spend enough
resorces
available source of wealth; a new or reserve supply that can be drawn upon when needed
resources
to teach our children about the importance of a healthy way of living. Unfortunately, even today children are still not fully aware about the strong association between inactivity and imbalanced diet and physical illnesses. The most striking example is the very high incidence of obesity among teenagers in the United States, caused by high sugar and caloric intake. Another important
exaple
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
is the high incidence of smoking and
alcholc
a liquor or brew containing alcohol as the active agent
alcohol
cconsumption
the process of taking food into the body through the mouth (as by eating)
consumption
among young
adults which
Accept comma addition
adults, which
can have grave
consequenced
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
consequences
consequence
in the form of lung disease and
cacer
any malignant growth or tumor caused by abnormal and uncontrolled cell division; it may spread to other parts of the body through the lymphatic system or the blood stream
cancer
. These examples, in my opinion, can be reversed with the implementation of a profound change in the health education.
Much
Suggestion
Many
more
resorces
available source of wealth; a new or reserve supply that can be drawn upon when needed
resources
should be put on teaching our students how to live a healthy life. Formal education
classess
a collection of things sharing a common attribute
classes
class
should teach about caloric intake, reduction of saturated fats and carbohydrates and how to build a well balanced meal.
Furthermore
, physical
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
classes and
it
it is
it's
association with physical and mental health should be stressed.
Lastly
,
school
Suggestion
the school
schools
shuld
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
change drastically the food which is given to our children so we can set an example as to what should we consume. In conclusion, teaching our children what to eat and how to live is an
imprtant
of great significance or value
important
role as out parents and educators. By showing them the right way to
live we
Accept comma addition
live, we
will assist them later in life.
Submitted by chilafp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health education
  • Curriculum
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Hygiene
  • Practical skills
  • Responsibility
  • Collaboration
  • Long-term benefits
  • Reduced healthcare costs
  • Academic performance
  • Well-being
  • Comprehensive health programs
  • Positive outcomes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: