some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree oe disagree with tgis opinion?

Nowadays,
music
related topic has become a controversial issue.
Although
, there are some people who believe that
music connect
Accept comma addition
music, connect
people of all age groups and cultures together, while
others
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
people do not support the idea that
music
brings close to one another. In my opinion, I completely agree with the statement,
music industry
Suggestion
the music industry
has developed the sense of connection among people despite having differences. On the one hand, regarding
music
of
different culture
Suggestion
different cultures
a different culture
, the best part about
music
is that no special skills are required like knowledge of
language
Suggestion
the language
.
In other words
, no need to learn the foreign language to understand it, as it is
amusing
surprising greatly
amazing
in
everyway
Suggestion
every way
.
Hence
, the disparity among cultures would be not as effective as indifference among their ethnic groups.
For example
, many South Indian songs are popular in north
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
, as there are a
lots
Suggestion
lot
of difference in the language and culture. Even, these songs got recognition for celebration.
In addition
, by sharing the common
music
playlist, it is easy to build friendship which ultimately benefits the society.
Secondly
, for different
age
Suggestion
aging
ageing
people, chances of making time to each other like the young people and old people unite easily because
music
Suggestion
the music
would develop
good understanding level
Suggestion
a good understanding level
the good understanding level
by spending time together.
Consequently
, the strong bond can be easily build between a child and their grandparents because of common interest of
music
. In conclusion, despite having differences of cultures and age, a person
have developed
Suggestion
has developed
the understanding level to a certain stage by knowing others through the medium of
music
independently. I
extremely supports
Suggestion
am extremely supporting
am extremely supported
have extremely supported
have extremely been supporting
this
statement that the
music
brings people closer.
Submitted by pandey.ankita0309 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: