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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rathe than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Competing with others in work settings, during education, or
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 is seen to be a positive thing to some
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, other
people
Use synonyms
 view cooperating with each other as more valuable. In my opinion, I stand with the
last
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 statement for reasons I will mention later.
To begin
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 with, companies and schools can view competition between colleagues as an important factor for continuous improvement and great productivity results. When an employee or a student sees how their colleague succeeds and their achievements, it can motivate them to do the same or even bigger.
For example
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, when I was in high school, I had a close friend who we used to compete against each other every year, which made us score higher grades by the end of the year.
In contrast
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, some individuals can see competition as a toxic method and prefer cooperating with their teammates. Cooperation can spark up a few new ideas,
boost
Correct word choice
and boost
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 creativity, and the
people
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 you are working
together with
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 can provide some new variable skills.
For instance
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, when my cousin had had big project in her company, she worked with a few
people
Use synonyms
 to make
this
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 project succeed, with their shared work and time, they came up with an innovative idea for the project that aided them
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 an impact in the workplace,
To sum up
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can have different views on competing and cooperating in everyday life, work , and school for different reasons. I believe that cooperation can yield more valuable results.

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task achievement
Expand on your opinion with more detailed reasons and examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your examples are clearly linked to the points you are making to improve clarity.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the counterargument to provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that is consistently supported throughout the text.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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