Why do you want to study in Canada in the program you have been accepted to?

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I decided to study in Canada because its
business
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management and
leadership
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studies are exactly in line with my
future
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professional goals as an internal manager of a beauty
clinic
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. Studying in
this
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field at
Trinity
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Western
University
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will help me enhance my knowledge academically and enable me to perform my professional and career responsibilities effectively in the
future
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. To be specific, a
business
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management major at
Trinity
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Western
University
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offers
courses
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such
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as Leading Change and Innovation, Strategic
Leadership
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,
Leadership
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and Change, and
Leadership
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Foundations. These
courses
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will provide me with the required knowledge and skills to manage a beauty
clinic
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business
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and to adapt to the ever-increasing changes in the beauty industry. My
future
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responsibilities will include analyzing the market and providing services in harmony with customer needs, using various and up-to-date technologies
such
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as artificial intelligence and data analysis tools to improve
clinic
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performance, developing communication and team-building skills to create an effective work environment, using strategic techniques to identify market opportunities and threats and provide
accordingly
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viable solutions. In the
clinic
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, there is a need for a manager who can anticipate the unexpected and fresh challenges ahead. Each of the above-mentioned
courses
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can help me solve these challenges directly and prepare me to take on new ones. By creating an organized and competitive environment for international students,
Trinity
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Western
University
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is one of the prominent and prestigious universities in Vancouver, Canada, offering the
courses
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I need to pursue my career successfully. Most importantly, the
Leadership
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Department at
Trinity
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Western
University
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has many research groups in my field.
For instance
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, Dr. Shawna L. Nist ([email protected]) has especially focused on
leadership
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and
leadership
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innovation programs and
also
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published articles on the development of women's
leadership
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. She can be a good inspiration for me and provide me with practical and relevant information for innovative and creative management.
According to
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the official website of
Trinity
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Western
University
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, the
Leadership
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program in
business
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, having a
leadership
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integration thesis course, provides an opportunity for students to conduct independent and innovative research. The research process from identification, identifying a problem for investigation, to design to data collection and analysis to the written report of the results and findings is at the
center
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centre
show examples
of corking on the thesis. The results and findings could be remarkably effective for use in the real work environment.
Therefore
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, it would be a great privilege to be a small member of
this
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university
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while
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pursuing my
future
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professional goals.
Submitted by qazaalameri on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is highly structured with a clear introduction, middle, and conclusion, which enhances readability. Consider varying sentence lengths and structures to maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
Ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Connecting words and linking phrases can make your writing more fluid.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt with comprehensive arguments and relevant examples. To improve, try adding more personal anecdotes or specific details about your aspirations and how the program aligns with them.
task achievement
Some sentences could be made more concise to improve clarity. Be careful with long, complex sentences as they can become difficult to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and well-supported response to why you want to study in Canada and the specific program at Trinity Western University.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which ties the piece together effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples from the university's program and faculty, enhancing the credibility of your reasons for choosing this course.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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