Why do you want to study in Canada in the program you have been accepted to?
I decided to study in Canada because its
business
management and leadership
studies are exactly in line with my future
professional goals as an internal manager of a beauty clinic
.
Studying in this
field at Trinity
Western University
will help me enhance my knowledge academically and enable me to perform my professional and career responsibilities effectively in the future
. To be specific, a
business
management major at Trinity
Western University
offers courses
such
as Leading Change and
Innovation, Strategic Leadership
, Leadership
and Change, and Leadership
Foundations. These courses
will provide me with the required knowledge and skills to manage a beauty clinic
business
and to adapt to the ever-increasing changes in the beauty industry. My future
responsibilities will include analyzing the market and providing services in harmony with customer needs, using various and up-to-date technologies such
as artificial intelligence and data analysis tools to improve clinic
performance, developing communication and team-building skills to create an effective work environment, using strategic techniques to identify market opportunities and threats and provide accordingly
viable solutions. In the clinic
, there is a need for a manager who can anticipate the unexpected and fresh challenges ahead. Each of the above-mentioned courses
can help me solve these challenges directly and prepare me to take on new ones. By creating an organized and competitive environment for international students, Trinity
Western University
is one of the prominent and prestigious universities in Vancouver, Canada, offering the courses
I need to pursue my career successfully.
Most importantly, the Leadership
Department at Trinity
Western University
has many research groups in my field. For instance
, Dr. Shawna L. Nist ([email protected]) has especially focused on leadership
and leadership
innovation programs and also
published articles on the development of women's leadership
. She can be a good inspiration for me and provide me with practical and relevant information for innovative and creative management.
According to
the official website of Trinity
Western University
, the Leadership
program in business
, having a leadership
integration thesis course, provides an opportunity for students to conduct independent and innovative research.
The research process from identification, identifying a problem for investigation, to design to data collection and analysis to the written report of the results and findings is at the center
of corking on the thesis. The results and findings could be remarkably effective for use in the real work environment. Change the spelling
centre
Therefore
, it would be a great privilege to be a small member of this
university
while
pursuing my future
professional goals.Submitted by qazaalameri on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is highly structured with a clear introduction, middle, and conclusion, which enhances readability. Consider varying sentence lengths and structures to maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
Ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Connecting words and linking phrases can make your writing more fluid.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt with comprehensive arguments and relevant examples. To improve, try adding more personal anecdotes or specific details about your aspirations and how the program aligns with them.
task achievement
Some sentences could be made more concise to improve clarity. Be careful with long, complex sentences as they can become difficult to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and well-supported response to why you want to study in Canada and the specific program at Trinity Western University.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which ties the piece together effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples from the university's program and faculty, enhancing the credibility of your reasons for choosing this course.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.