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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

#countries #people #work #retirement #age
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In the recent years, many companies in different nations are coming up with the policy of letting their employees
work
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 after retirement age. While some opine that letting people
work
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 beyond their age of employment is beneficial to the society, a few others are completely against
this
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 viewpoint. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both the opinions and highlight the advantages and disadvantages. As various multinational companies have encouraged their employees to
work
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 even in their 60s, many have shown a positive approach. Employing older people is beneficial, as they are highly experienced and can help the younger generation in many fruitful ways. They contribute to the nation by increasing the revenue. Many a times,
elderly
Suggestion
the elderly
 are dependent on their children for financial assistance. By working, they can feed themselves and be independent. Studies have proven that elderly individuals tend to become dull and lethargic when they are idle at home.
This
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 makes them more prone to diseases.
Thus
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,
this
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 problem can be curbed by letting them continue their
work
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 till their health and state of mind permits. On the flip side, there are quite a few drawbacks too. In today‘s competitive world, it is very difficult for an individual to secure a job. With the senior citizens still being allowed to
work
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, it would make it even tougher for the fresh graduates and less experienced to get a job.
This
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 might push youngsters towards unemployment,
consequently
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 leading to poverty and an increase in
crime rate
Suggestion
the crime rate
 for thefts.
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Also many
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Also, many
 companies do not provide proper medical facilities to cater to the needs of their older employees. While most of them may
work
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 according to their will,
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however some
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however, some
 may be forced to earn an income for their family. They may
also
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 do so even when their health isn’t in a good state.
This
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 would deteriorate their health faster than
otherwise
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. In conclusion encouraging employees to
work
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 in their Golden period would definitely be worthwhile to the society, but only when the disadvantages are kept in mind and proper measures are taken to eliminate them.
Submitted by shirisha_28 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • standard of living
  • ameliorated
  • mentoring
  • physical health
  • mental decline
  • workforce diversity
  • exacerbate
  • quality of life
  • employment opportunities
  • work-life imbalance
  • ageism
  • retirement planning
  • pension funds
  • job market dynamics
  • seniority
  • compulsory retirement age
  • productive capacity
  • intergenerational collaboration
  • mentality
  • employer attitudes
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