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In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

#parts #world #people #role #models #influence #development
Nowadays a lot of celebrated humans are considered "
role
models
" and their impact on the young generation rising in several parts of the earth.
Although
 they may motivate young people to be the best version of themselves, they affect them negatively side. Many young generations have their
role
models
 and they admire them in a lot of things. When young adults interested in some famous person they are trying to look like them or they are just copying their idols in every behavior.
For example
, almost all the girls love K-pop singer groups so they are really motivated to learn Korean languages in Uzbekistan.
Also
 , females who have an interest in fashion consider Kylie Jenner as their idol.
Therefore
, the Korean style was chosen by Uzbek girls. In the world, all the young generations are attracted by celebrities. Watching them more than needed leads to negative sides. Parents should limit themselves to repeating others and should teach being individuals in every sphere.
For instance
, in view of the fact that youths continue duplicating famous persons in everything which leads to losing their traditions in dance , food and even language in Kazakhstan. Despite that they are losing their customs, their parents do not limit copying other nations to their children. Getting interested in celebrities who are from another nation impacts children's negative side . In conclusion, despite having
role
models
 or idols that might have benefits for youngsters, the negative impact outweighs the positive. Adults who have
role
models
 can lose their individuality.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence
Consider organizing your thoughts more clearly and logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and be connected smoothly to the next. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that every point you make is backed up with relevant examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and robust.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for your argument.
evidence
You’ve used relevant examples to support your points, such as the influence of K-pop singers and Kylie Jenner.
task achievement
You've addressed both potential positive and negative impacts, which shows a balanced view of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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