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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Without a shadow of a doubt, public facilities have widespread effects on the human lifestyle. A group of people put
this
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 idea forward that federal governments should spend huge amounts of money on building a new railway for express trains,
while
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 some others disagree saying politicians should focus on upgrading existing railroads
instead
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. Both schools of thought,
due to
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 the prominent values they carry, are apt to be taken into account.
Body · 1
Regarding the first case, it is believed that investing money in constructing new railways has an impact on life.
Firstly
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, these activities lead to saving time and some individuals can have extra time for doing backlogs.
Secondly
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, by doing
this
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 authorities can attract tourists and have more income for other infrastructure.
For example
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, in developed countries like Japan and Singapore, fast trains have a strong influence on countryside expansion and these actions lead to decreasing time intervals between cities.
Body · 2
With respect to the second viewpoint, a majority of people believe that governments should spend money on renewing the present railways.
Furthermore
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, railroads play a crucial role in connecting cities and facilitating the movement of people and goods.
Firstly
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, upgrading the existing railway infrastructure can significantly enhance safety standards, reducing accidents and improving the travel experience for passengers.
Secondly
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, modernizing the railway line can lead to increased efficiency, allowing for faster and more reliable train services that are essential for a growing economy.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 investing in new high-speed railroads is essential for national development, prioritizing the renewal and upgrading of existing railways is crucial for enhancing passenger experiences and preventing train accidents.

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coherence cohesion
In the second viewpoint starting phrase is unnecessary/redundant, so better avoid the phrase like "With respect to the second viewpoint" to reduce redundancy.
task achievement
In the conclusion, it might be beneficial to briefly restate the main points or reasons to reinforce the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and the two viewpoints to be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
Well-developed conclusion that presents a balanced view while expressing your own opinion.
logical structure
Logical structure with clear paragraphing and progression of ideas.
relevant specific examples
Ideas are supported with relevant specific examples.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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