the growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system. In an effort to deal with health issues involved, Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #healthcare #system #effort #health #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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It is undoubtedly true that the increasing population of obese individuals is becoming a huge burden on the health sector.

Consequently

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, some are of the opinion that incorporating more exercise lessons and sporting activities in schools is the ultimate solution. While I agree that physical education should be added to the school curriculum, I would

also

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argue that choosing healthier diet options

Suggestion

are

another resolve to be considered. On the one hand, introducing classes on exercise equips children with the knowledge of the significance of engaging in physical activities and the essence of burning excess calories.

Therefore

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, they can make better lifestyle decisions by totally ruling out sedentary living.

For instance

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, only a few Nigerian adults participate in sports in the modern world, whereas, if they had been

thought

Suggestion

thinking

about its relevance at a tender age, it is very possible that a larger number of people will be found in gyms and sport stadium.

On the other hand

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, the intake of healthy meals and drinks are very key approaches in preventing and managing obesity.

This

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is because being overweight primarily stems from the consumption of wrong food choices

such

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as processed meals, sweetened soda as well as alcohol.

Hence

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, educating people on the benefits of choosing healthier diets

such

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fiber

a slender and greatly elongated substance capable of being spun into yarn

fibre

fever

-rich foods which have been proven to reduce the risk of metabolic diseases and cardiovascular problems, goes a long way in helping them make informed choices of what to feed on. In conclusion,

although

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including lessons on physical activities in school syllabuses is a good method of managing obesity, encouraging healthy dietary changes

also

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improves the overall public health and economic expenditures.

Submitted by yetundebukky89 on Wed Jun 19 2019

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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