Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time, because it has no direct connection with people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days,
people
from a range of items can obtain
news
like newspapers and TV programs, but a group of
people
think that the amount of time that spend reading or listening to the
news
is a waste of time owing to the fact that it does not affect
people
's lives. I do not subscribe to
this
idea inasmuch as
news
helps the population to know about the alternatives that a variety of subjects have and these changing has a lot of effects on
people
's devices and health. On the one hand, if we know about the newest gadgets that are produced by various companies, we can buy them and make our lives better. To illustrate, Today, a number of robots, which are vacuum cleaners, are generated by several companies;
consequently
, when
people
do not read newspapers or watch TV, they do not know about them and their advantages; in fact, they do not buy these tools that help them to have more comfortable lives.
On the other hand
, when communities do not listen to or read the
news
, they know about neither the natural evidence
such
as Tiphon, earthquakes, and so on nor virus epidemics.
In other words
, these kinds of inhabitants may kill or become illnesses
due to
the fact that they do not have any information.
To sum up
, In my opinion, it is crucial that
people
invest time in the important
news
that have a lot of influence on their health and aid them to buy new gadgets that lose their work.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your examples and ensure they directly support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing logical connections between your ideas for a smoother flow.
introduction conclusion present
You have introduced the topic well and provided a clear stance on the issue.
supported main points
You've offered relevant examples regarding technological gadgets to support your arguments.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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