The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Some people believe that more physical

education

lessons in the school curriculum will help combat overweight problems amongst the people. In my opinion,

this

approach / move will help create a nation of health conscious people.

This

, in turn, will reduce the burden on the government to contribute to the health sector.

Instead

, it can use those resources in areas like

education

and employment.

First

and foremost, children are more likely to follow what is taught in the classroom. So, if there are more physical

education

lessons, they will readily learn about ways to keep them fit and healthy. By giving extra importance to physical

education

, teachers can instill in children the habit of following a healthy lifestyle from the start.

In addition

, nowadays in many

families both

Accept comma addition

families, both

the husband and the wife work and

hence

they do not have time to monitor the eating habits of their children. In

such

situations, if the child is well-informed he can help himself to decide when to eat what.

Also

, a habit

that is

developed during younger stages in life is more likely to stay with them throughout their life. A well informed person will not only follow a healthy routine

himself but

Accept comma addition

himself, but

will

also

motivate the people around him.

Finally

, overweight problems, if not controlled, lead to obesity and combating obesity is a tough task. It not only requires individual

efforts but

Accept comma addition

efforts, but

also

medications.

This

increases the burden on the government to invest in a situation which could have stopped earlier. Worse still, it blocks funds which could have been used in more critical areas like poverty. In conclusion, I believe imparting physical

education

at the right age will help fight overweight problems and reduce government spending in the health care sector.

Submitted by mithupnair on Tue Jun 25 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. How true is this statement? Are there any other parties that should be responsible for this?

Some people believe that social networking sites have a considerably detrimental effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Some people say that the use of mobile phones should not be allowed in public places such as libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.