In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays people’s health is getting better and better
due to
the best medical and technical systems in place. Many people argue that old people are a burden on the Government, while
others believe that they are assets of the nation, It is completely agreed advantages
are more beneficial than disadvantages. This
topic will discuss why advantages
are more beneficial than drawbacks.
The main reason is that due to
the labour shortage all over the world , these technicians can fill the gap and contribute to the country’s economy. Another factor is that due to
their vast experiences, they can provide training to the fresh newcomers in the industries so that youngsters get trained as soon as possible. For example
, in Japan, still, retiree population are still working in different departments and solving some labour shortage problems. As a result
, Japan has a good economy in the world.
Another reason is that the old community look after their grandchildren after their members go out to work as a result
families
save money instead
of sending their toddlers to the childcare centres. Another factor is that these families
' heads provide vital advice from their practical experiences and stop their children from any wrong decisions taken by them. For example
, the Indian world’s richest man Mukesh Ambani’s father advised to him come back from his studies and start a business in India. As a consequence
, the owner of the reliance company (Mukesh Ambani) is the world's best company and has billions of dollars in equity.
In contrast
, it cannot be denied that older folks require more health-related help to keep them in hospitals and aged care centres, but it will not be enough to outweigh on advantages
.
In conclusion, following the analysis of both advantages
and disadvantages, it is clear that
seniors are always better for society because they contribute to both commercials and look after their families
. Further
, it is clear that
looking after their families
and helping businesses is going to continue in the future as well.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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task response
To improve your Task Response, make sure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea directly supports your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, work on making sure each paragraph logically follows the previous one, maintaining a clear and smooth flow of ideas. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs effectively. Finally, ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.
task response
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Japan and Mukesh Ambani, which help to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and do a good job of opening and closing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is largely intact, with each paragraph discussing a distinct aspect of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example