Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Some people think that school friends give more influence to a
child
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’s
success
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than parents.
Although
Linking Words
the existence of friends has some positive effect, I personally believe that parents give more significant effect to the
child
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’s
success
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. It is undeniable that classmates play a pivotal role in a
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
child's
success
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, as friends could help each other. One of the examples is when a
child
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does not understand a lesson, he could ask a help from his friends. And
then
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, when a
child
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joins a sports competition, his friends might support him and give him encouragement. Despite all the positive sides, they could
also
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bring
negatives
Suggestion
negative
things as well.
For instance
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, one of the classmates might be addicted to drugs, and he could influence the others to use it. Many people believe that parents have more significant contributions to a
child
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’s academic study than classmates. Even though they might not be giving technical advice to the
child
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, but they give moral support.
For example
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, a
child
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might have some difficulties with his exam and has to study until late at night, his parents might give some motivational words that inspire him, and
also
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stay awake to accompany the
child
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. And
then
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, parents will
also
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provide all funds needed for the improvement of the
child
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’s academic study.
For instance
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, a
child
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might have some problems with mathematics, and the parents might hire a private tutor for their
child
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. In conclusion, I do agree that school friends have some positive effect on a
child
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’s academic performance, but I do not agree if people think that classmates give more important influence than parents. I believe that parents play
more vital
Suggestion
most vital
roles in a
child
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’s
success
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, as they give moral and financial support.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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