Some people believe that competition is good thing . Others believe that we should try cooperative more rather then competing against each other , descise both idea and tell your openin

Competition
is a widely discussed topic. Some argue that it should be a fundamental part of our lives,
while
others emphasize the significance of cooperation. I align with the latter viewpoint. Strong relationships are often viewed as crucial in a cooperative environment, a belief shared by many. Cooperation fosters trust and cultivates deeper connections among
individuals
. It enhances communication, encourages mutual support, and promotes a sense of belonging within the group. In
such
an atmosphere, people can share their perspectives openly, free from judgment or fear, leading to more constructive dialogue and innovative solutions. From my perspective, the support and encouragement inherent in a cooperative environment are essential. They empower
individuals
to take risks and grow.
This
nurturing atmosphere builds confidence, allowing people to explore new ideas and tackle challenges.
Furthermore
, it encourages broader thinking and the pursuit of greater ambitions, pushing the limits of what can be achieved.
For instance
, during the recent pandemic, scientists collaborated to identify effective treatments and shared their findings, showcasing the power of collective effort in addressing global challenges. Some argue that a competitive environment can motivate
individuals
and encourage persistence.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
notion.
While
competition
may drive certain people, it often creates anxiety and stifles collaboration. Rather than fostering a supportive atmosphere,
competition
can induce stress and a fear of failure, ultimately hindering both personal and collective growth. In conclusion,
while
competition
can drive some
individuals
, the benefits of cooperation far outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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task achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly addressed. Consider exploring a few more examples of cooperation in different contexts beyond the pandemic example.
coherence cohesion
To further improve Coherence and Cohesion, maintain a consistent flow between paragraphs and ideas. Make sure transitions between points are smooth to maintain the essay's logical progression.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a clear position on the topic and supports it with logical arguments, particularly highlighting the benefits of cooperation.
supported main points
The use of the recent pandemic example to illustrate the power of collective effort adds depth to the argument, making it more relatable and specific.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, establishing and summarizing the main argument effectively.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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