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Writing Samples
Band 4

Smacking or punishing children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #form #discipline
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These days disciplining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 is a headache for
parents
. Many of the
parents’
Change noun form
parents
show examples
further
 resort to smacking as a common practice to control their offspring.
However
, I absolutely discourage
such
 violent activity towards kids. In
this
 essay, the adverse impacts of spanking or punishing
children
 will be discussed in detail. Using punishment as a tool to straighten up the
children
 is quite common and
this
 has been in practice for centuries. It is true that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resorting to spanking or beating up kids will generate instant results.
However
,
this
 instant gratification of discipline
lefts
Replace the word
leaves
show examples
 deep scars in the tender minds of these
children
, which can have
severe
Add an article
a severe
show examples
 impact on their behaviour, when they become
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.
For instance
, several studies have proven that
this
 kind of childhood trauma can cause clinical depression, make
children
 unsocial and in a
worst case
Add a hyphen
worst-case
show examples
 scenario, make them violent toward others.
Hence
, the
parents
 should be careful about how they control their offspring.
Now a day
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
,
parents
 are usually busy with their jobs to support the family.
This
 situation makes the
children
 turn into little attention seekers,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, they become annoying to the
parents
. But if the
parents
 get tired of their
children
’s behaviour and smack them to discipline, it will be very bad for the child and hurt their feelings in a brute manner. The
children
 may slowly shut down to their
parents
 which will create detachment with the
parents
.
Therefore
, it will make the
children
 less confident, unsocial and
passive aggressive
Add a hyphen
passive-aggressive
show examples
 in some cases. In conclusion,
this
 essay makes its
standing
Replace the word
stand
show examples
 against any sort of physical violence toward
children
 in order to let them grow as confident and social human beings.
Therefore
, I believe, smacking cannot be a plausible option to discipline and raise
children
. Rather we should raise them with love and care, and shower them will
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
 attention that they need.
Submitted by saminewaz on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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