More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

Today’s diet consumption is affecting humans in terms of health and
this
number is increasing day by day and
also
, the solution is not coming from these scientific pills. It is believed by some individuals that traditional
medicines
should be allowed to cure patients. I completely disagree because old-style
medicines
are not manufactured with proper care and their action of curing is slow as compared with modern tablets. Herbal
medicines
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
time to cure the patient from diseases. The pace of killing infections is quite slow as linked with modern
medicines
and sometimes it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
the life of an individual.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
makes the situation worsen,
thus
consuming
such
medicine is not
full
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
proof of improving health in a timely manner.
For instance
, homeopathy
medicines
require 1 week to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nasal infections
such
as
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
cold as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with modern
medicines
which require only one day. Traditional
medicines
are not prepared in
scientific
Change the article
a scientific
show examples
manner
besides
bringing them back for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
treatment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
can create more problems. These
medicines
are not manufactured under proper hygiene practices,
thus
they
possess
Verb problem
pose
show examples
risk
Add an article
the risk
a risk
show examples
of infections, and
therefore
the authority should not encourage traditional
medicines
in the market. Only
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
permit the use of
such
medicines
around the globe. In conclusion,
although
advanced treatments fail sometimes in recovering patients,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the impact of consuming old-date medicine by patients
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
getting better is even
slow
Replace the word
slower
show examples
and poorer.
In addition
to that, these
medicines
are not prepared
according to
the
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
law.
Hence
, I believe that we should not encourage people to consume traditional
medicines
.
Submitted by writing745 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifestyle diseases
  • sedentary habits
  • stress-related disorders
  • holistic practices
  • comprehensive approach
  • preventive measures
  • traditional dietary practices
  • evidence-based practice
  • integration
  • efficacy
  • natural herbs
  • wellness
  • affordable alternative
  • public education
  • stress management techniques
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