IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#government #money #railway #roads
It is argued that funds should be spent by the authority on
rail
 tracks
instead
 of roads. In my
opinion I
Accept comma addition
opinion, I
 totally agree
to
Suggestion
with
this
 point of view because of the present focus on
rail
transportation
 as well as the
cost
 implication for the users.
First
 and foremost, recently, the most important reason why
rail
 tracks should be considered for more allocations by the government is that there has been a recent increase in the number of people who use the
rail
 mode of
transportation
.
For instance
, recently, most trains leaving the station now carry passengers to their fullest capacity, something which was not so in the past decades.
Thus
 making
rail way
Suggestion
railway
a
expresses position, direction or location, or point in time
at
 present focus of
transportation
 for most citizens.
Therefore
, any amount spent on it would not be considered a waste.
Secondly
, another reason why more funds should be budgeted for
rail
tracks
Suggestion
track
 construction rather than roads is that it is cheaper to journey within and outside the metropolis with trains. To illustrate, in Nigeria, the
cost
 of travelling from Lagos to Osogbo by road is almost thrice the
cost
 of travelling to the same destination by train.
This
 by implication makes people spend less to move from one place to the other
everyday
Suggestion
every day
.
Thus
 making train
transportation
 the best choice for commuters.
As a result
, allocating more funds
to
Suggestion
for
 building
this
 means is very essential. In conclusion, it is agreed that the budget made by the authority for building
rail
 paths should be more than the fund disbursed for road construction given the recent increase in the population that plies the
rail
 as opposed to that of the road and the less expensive
cost
 of train
transportation
.
Submitted by uniknursewithadifference on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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