Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, certain kids spend a lot of
time
on mobile devices. I think this
is a negative development since it does not contribute to the future and present well-being of a child
. Additionally
, it adversely affects their mental and physical health. I elaborate on my reasons in the following essay.
Firstly
, when a child
uses a smartphone to play video
games
or similar activities, it may have harmful effects due to
the abuse or aggression present in such
games
. When children face these scenarios, they can become nervous and anxious. As a result
, their future well-being can deteriorate. For example
, I have a cousin who plays a lot of video
games
, which has caused significant problems for his mental health. He developed anxiety and is
unable to focus on his studies.
Wrong verb form
was
Secondly
, it is evident that if a child
uses a smartphone excessively, it creates issues because they often substitute valuable study time
for smartphone use, which can hinder their academic future. Children should ideally spend their time
studying, and if they play games
, these should be educational to assist in their learning. Moreover
, excessive use of smartphones can damage their eyes and vision. For instance
, there is a child
in my neighborhood
who plays Change the spelling
neighbourhood
video
games
all the time
. Consequently
, he developed eyesight problems and now needs to wear glasses.
In conclusion, some children spend all their time
playing video
games
and using smartphones. I believe that the use of gadgets such
as smartphones and tablets represents a negative development.Submitted by mkhdermani on
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task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by briefly outlining the structure of the essay before diving into main points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary sentence structures and lengths to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
Clear and consistent argumentation throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant and specific examples, which effectively support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Logical progression and connection between ideas and paragraphs.
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