Shopping has become a favourite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that? Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping?

It is true that youngsters tend to spend their free
time
to shop various items. I think fashion and clothing plays a significant role in their lives, but at the same
time
they should be motivated to participate in other activities
instead
of shopping.
To begin
with teenagers
are
Suggestion
is
always conscious about their appearance and there are several reasons to explain why
this
is happening.
Firstly
, social media influences their mindset to a very high
extent making
Suggestion
extent, making
them believe that they ought to look picture perfect all the
time
. In the other words, the number of comments and likes on their style sense gives them an immense amount of confidence.
Consequently
, they are ready to spend more of their
time
and energy on shopping.
Secondly
, the television adverts
makes
Suggestion
make
them believe that they might be missing out on latest trending clothes and shoes, if they would not buy them on a regular basis.
As a result
, they invest their spare
time
in the malls purchasing new stuff. It is possible,
however
, to take steps to motivate them to engage in other activities
such
as sports and volunteering at non- profit organisations. The young minds are very easy to mould, and parents and guardians should ensure that they encourage their children to learn some sports. Not only will it keep them fit and healthy, but
also
make them competitive and confident in a true sense.
In addition
, making them involved in volunteer services and teaching them to do their bit for the society they live in, would definitely help them to grow as a responsible citizen. In conclusion, while it has become a trend among younger generation to shop a lot because of self- consciousnesses,
this
behaviour could still be rectified by encouraging them to do other tasks
such
as sports and volunteer jobs
Submitted by drpoonam.gurbaxani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: