W. In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
The world of professional
sports
includes a constant pressure to improve performance
that affects many athletes
. Many professionals use
banned supplements
to obtain better results. To solve this
issue it is necessary to establish measures
such
as a shift in culture
to acknowledge mental health
and more restrictive laws on illegal substances
.
Sports
practice is commonly associated with health
, but when practised professionally athletes
face pressures to constantly present winning results. This
exacerbated pressure impacts their mental health
, leading to many of them seeking alternative measures
to win. In fact, some of these alternatives include the use
of illegal substances
that promise to improve athletes
’ performance
. Additionally
, training routines can be exhaustive, so the use
of these substances
can assist the sportiest person to keep up with the routine, avoiding extreme fatigue. Furthermore
, in some sports
environments such
as CrossFit and Bodybuilding, there is a culture
of use
of supplements
to improve performance
. As a result
, there is a raise
in the number of sportive people using banned Correct your spelling
rise
substances
.
Although
scientists created supplements
that are safe for athletes
, banned products promise faster results. However
, they can be strongly detrimental to humans. To tackle issues related to the use
of these illegal substances
, it is necessary to create more restrictive laws and measures
that will impede the fabrication of these supplies and totally extinct their sale worldwide. In addition
to that, the promotion of mental health
awareness in sports
and a shift in the culture
to win at all costs is imperative. To do this
more debates on these topics need to be raised.
In conclusion, the use
of banned supplements
by professional athletes
is a crescent concern that has been caused by the constant pressure to win, exhaustive training as well and the constantly improved performance
culture
in some sports
areas. Possible solutions to this
issue encompass the shift in the sport-winning culture
and mental health
awareness and more restrictive measures
to extinct illegal substances
.Submitted by betinhaa00 on
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Evidence & examples
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your causes and solutions. Real-world examples or data can make your argument stronger.
Cohesion
Ensure there's a clear relationship between paragraphs. Transition sentences can help enhance the flow of your essay from one idea to the next.
Breadth of solutions
Consider exploring a wider range of solutions, potentially including education for athletes, involvement of sports federations, and technological advances in drug testing.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your argument effectively.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured, making it easy to follow your argument.
Understanding of topic
You've successfully identified key causes and provided plausible solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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