some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, Certain kids spend a lot of
time
on the mobiles. I think this
is a negative development since this
is not helping the future and present well-being of a child. Also
, it causes mental and physical health to get worse. I elaborate on my reasons in the following essay.
Firstly
, when a child uses a smartphone to play video
games
or such
things, maybe it hurts them because of the abuse or anger that is
in such
games
. When children face abuse, they get nervous and anxious. Subsequently
, the future well-being of them deprecates and ruins. For example
, I have a cousin who plays a lot of video
games
which causes a major problem for his mental health. He got anxious additionally
he could not focus on his studies
.
Secondly
, it is obvious if a kid uses a smartphone, it creates problems
because kids substitute time
for their studies
to using smartphones
and this
creates problems
for their future. This
is because kids should spend their time
on their studies
and even if they play, there must be smart games
to assist them in their studies
. Also
, it causes problems
since smartphones
injure their eyes and their vision. For instance
, there is a kid in my neighbourhood who is playing all the time
video
games
. Subsequently
, his eyes got problems
and he should use glasses.
In conclusion, some children spend all of their time
playing video
games
and smartphones
additionally
I believe that using gadgets such
as smartphones
and tablets is a negative development.Submitted by mkhdermani on
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vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to improve coherence.
task achievement
Develop your arguments more fully with additional details and discussion of potential counterarguments.
task achievement
Successfully identifies issues related to smartphone use among children and supports arguments with relevant examples.
introduction conclusion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion which bracket the main content effectively.
supported main points
The essay covers both mental and physical health concerns related to smartphone use, providing a balanced perspective.