some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In today’s society, certain

children

Use synonyms

spend considerable intervals on their mobile phones. I believe

this

Linking Words

is a negative development as it does not contribute positively to a child’s future prospects and present well-being.

Additionally

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, it exacerbates mental and physical health issues, leading to poor academic performance and weakened social interactions. These points are elaborated upon in the following essay.

Firstly

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, excessive screen time has detrimental effects on both the mental and physical health of

children

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. Many

games

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contain violent content and inappropriate material, which can lead to mental wellness issues.

Moreover

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, the overuse of electronic gadgets results in physical wellness problems

such

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as obesity and repetitive strain injuries.

For example

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, I have a cousin who plays video

games

Use synonyms

excessively, which has caused significant problems for his mental health. He experiences increased anxiety and struggles to concentrate on his studies.

Secondly

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, academic achievement is adversely affected by the use of digital devices. It is evident that when

children

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use smartphones

instead

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of dedicating time to their homework or studies, their academic performance suffers.

In addition

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, spending excessive durations on mobile devices reduces opportunities for face-to-face interactions, making

children

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feel lonely and isolated.

For instance

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, there is a child in my neighbourhood who spends all his periods playing video

games

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Consequently

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, he has failed mathematics. In conclusion, many

children

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today spend excessive hours on mobile phones and video

games

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. I strongly believe that

this

Linking Words

behaviour is harmful to their mental and physical well-being,

as well as

Linking Words

their academic performance and social interactions. It is essential for parents and educators to monitor and regulate

children

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’s mobile usage to ensure their

overall

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well-being and future success.

mkhdermaniTue Nov 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Examples are relevant and clearly illustrate the points being made.

task achievement

Main ideas are well-developed and comprehensive.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, children have high influence of social media on friends on their lives. Whereas, some people believe that they have higher influence of their parents. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

nowadays many people choose to be self-employed , rather than to work for a company or oraganisation.why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?