Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #health

Taking care of our

health

is really important.

Hence

, schools teach young generations to be

concern

Suggestion

concerned

with their

health

by including physical examination and biology subject as mandatory subjects. Physical examination allows students to gain interest regarding sports while biology subject makes them get to know

biological process

Suggestion

the biological process

in their body and how to maintain their

health

However

health

-related issues are not merely about physical

health

, we cannot disregard mental

health

issues either.

Thus

, some people argue that the

health

knowledge provided by schools for adolescents is not sufficient. In

this

essay, I shall give my opinion to support

this

statement.

To begin

with, talking about

health

, so many people only consider about physical

health

. Starting from having a good diet, doing physical activities, and so on.

Nevertheless

, nowadays, mental

health

issues are inevitable.

For example

, knowing that using drugs is harmful to our body, people should have not even tried it. The number of substance abuse is increasing year by

year

Accept comma addition

year, although

although

schools educate their students to avoid using drugs. It proves that psychological

health

also

as important as physical

health

. The information regarding mental

health

in schools is limited,

hence

friends and family supports are necessary.

Second

, self-taught regarding mental and physical

health

from various sources is really important.

For example

, some people cannot do some sports taught at school do

Suggestion

with

some medical conditions. Everybody is different,

that is

why we have to know ourselves more. Schools only provide general knowledge, so we cannot rely on it. In conclusion,

health

-related issues are not merely related to physical

health

, but

also

mental

health

Thus

, I believe gaining the knowledge from schools is not enough. Supports from family and friends are necessary to reach the balance. Self-taught to know ourselves more is

also

important.

Submitted by mega.watty1994 on Sat Jul 06 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part of individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that history is one of the most important subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that newspapers are the best way to learn about current events. However, others think that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests and whether they married or single, some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. discuss both these views and give your opinion.