Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #health

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Taking care of our

health

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is really important.

Hence

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, schools teach young generations to be

concern

Suggestion

concerned

with their

health

Use synonyms

by including physical examination and biology subject as mandatory subjects. Physical examination allows students to gain interest regarding sports while biology subject makes them get to know

biological process

Suggestion

the biological process

in their body and how to maintain their

health

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However

Linking Words

health

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-related issues are not merely about physical

health

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, we cannot disregard mental

health

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issues either.

Thus

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, some people argue that the

health

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knowledge provided by schools for adolescents is not sufficient. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I shall give my opinion to support

this

Linking Words

statement.

To begin

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with, talking about

health

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, so many people only consider about physical

health

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. Starting from having a good diet, doing physical activities, and so on.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, nowadays, mental

health

Use synonyms

issues are inevitable.

For example

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, knowing that using drugs is harmful to our body, people should have not even tried it. The number of substance abuse is increasing year by

year

Accept comma addition

year, although

although

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schools educate their students to avoid using drugs. It proves that psychological

health

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also

Linking Words

as important as physical

health

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. The information regarding mental

health

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in schools is limited,

hence

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friends and family supports are necessary.

Second

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, self-taught regarding mental and physical

health

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from various sources is really important.

For example

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, some people cannot do some sports taught at school do

Suggestion

with

some medical conditions. Everybody is different,

that is

Linking Words

why we have to know ourselves more. Schools only provide general knowledge, so we cannot rely on it. In conclusion,

health

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-related issues are not merely related to physical

health

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, but

also

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mental

health

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Thus

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, I believe gaining the knowledge from schools is not enough. Supports from family and friends are necessary to reach the balance. Self-taught to know ourselves more is

also

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important.

Submitted by mega.watty1994 on Sat Jul 06 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Health education
Curriculum
Healthy lifestyle
Diet
Exercise
Mental health
Hygiene
Practical skills
Responsibility
Collaboration
Long-term benefits
Reduced healthcare costs
Academic performance
Well-being
Comprehensive health programs
Positive outcomes

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Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own style. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?