In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

In today’s fast-paced and competitive society, many individuals push themselves to work harder in order to stand out.
While
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some argue that constant effort and pressure help
people
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achieve more, I believe that
although
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hard work can be rewarding, rest and balance are
also
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essential for long-term success and well-being. One reason
people
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tend to work harder is the growing competition in both education and the workplace. Students strive to outperform their peers to gain admission to prestigious universities,
while
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employees often go the extra mile to secure promotions or recognition from their managers.
This
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drive to excel can lead to a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.
For instance
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, a diligent worker may be seen as a valuable asset and be offered better opportunities.
However
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, constantly pushing oneself is not always beneficial.
People
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who remain under high pressure for long periods may suffer from stress, anxiety, or burnout. Mental health is crucial for sustained performance, and without taking time to rest and recharge, individuals may eventually lose motivation. Consistency in performance is better maintained when
people
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allow themselves to recover physically and mentally. In conclusion, working hard can lead to better outcomes and is often necessary to reach certain goals.
Nevertheless
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, excessive effort without proper rest can have negative consequences. A balanced approach, where
people
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are ambitious but
also
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mindful of their well-being, is the key to long-term success and motivation.

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task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but you could expand on your points with more examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words more often to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents your main idea.
task achievement
You discussed both sides of working hard well, showing good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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