IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #control #amount #violence #films #television #decrease #crimes #society
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Films and TV programmes today are filled with
violence
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 and
as a result
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violence
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 is increasing in our
societies
Suggestion
society
. I agree that censoring
such
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 programmes and films, some amount of
violence
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 can be decreased. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views. Reducing the amount of
violence
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 on TV and in the cinema would certainly be a good start to decrease
violence
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 among people. It is a well known fact that the media
possesses
Suggestion
possess
 a lot of power to influence people. So, those in the media must be judicious about delivering news in a balanced manner that brings the story to the consumer without showing too much
violence
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. Journalism is a profession like any other and certain standards of quality and professionalism need to be maintained. There are many harmful effects of
such
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 programmes on the individuals and society. The most disturbing effect is on the children and youth. Media
violence
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 can stimulate fear in some children as it frightens them, making the effects long lasting.
This
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 can become traumatic in our children as they see it more and more. Children are starting to grow and are shaping their personality, values and beliefs. They can become aggressive or they can lose a sense of reality and fiction of what they are seeing.
Moreover
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, young people imitate what they see and it is logical that they see glamour in what they do when they commit
violence
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.
Consequently
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, the society suffers as the streets are full of
violence
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.
Finally
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, too much portrayal of these
also
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 leads to immunity among the people and they are not affected by the disasters any more. Disasters like Tsunami and earthquakes don’t make people shed a tear
any more
at the present or from now on; usually used with a negative
anymore
. To put it in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
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down, saying
 that, having a check on the
violence
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 in TV programmes and films, would certainly be a good start to decrease the
violence
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 and crime in society.
Submitted by BALJINDER Singh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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