Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money should be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

#people #government #money #arts

It is important to consider how authorities spend her finances. Some individuals are of the opinion that investing money on

arts

Suggestion

the arts

by the government is a total waste and

this

money should ne channelled on other projects

such

as improving the hospitals and educational institutions. While ì agree with

this

opinion, I will

also

argue that the

art

sector should not be neglected because they equally contribute in improving people's quality of life. Government spending should be focused majorly on the hospitals and schools.

This

is because these institutions are those that have a direct impact on the society. The hospitals are the ones that

takes

Suggestion

take

are taken

care of the health challenges citizens face and neglecting

this

very important sector will be hazardous.

This

is same with the learning institutions that ensures that the future of the country which are the young people are well tutored.

For example

, the UK government introduced a 21% cut on their national health insurance scheme and the resultant effect was a breakout of several diseases.

Therefore

, more funds should be allocated to

this

area.

On the other hand

, the arts industry should not be abandoned because they

also

contribute in promoting the social

wellbeing

Suggestion

well being

of the citizens.

This

is owing to the fact that

art

centres like Cinema and Museums are places that

art

lovers often visit and depriving them of

this

basic necessity will certainly have a negative effect on them. In conclusion,

although

the government should apportion more of their

budgetary

Suggestion

budget

allocations in financing the public services

such

as the schools and hospitals, they should not fail to equally make provisions for the

art

sector because they

also

help in he improvement of people's social life and wellbeing.

Submitted by Ope on Mon Jul 08 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Fully explain your ideas

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