IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #reason #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a recent survey conducted by times magazine states that shopping is the most famous pass time for youngsters. In my opinion, shopping is the
convienient
suited to your comfort or purpose or needs
convenient
convenience
 and
intersting
arousing or holding the attention
interesting
 leisure activity
that is
 why more youngsters are attracted to it. If the shopping is
controled
restrained or managed or kept within certain bounds
controlled
 or
with in
internal to, not outside; located in the bounds of
within
 the
budget
Accept comma addition
budget, then
then
 it is a positive development. There are numerous reasons why
yougsters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
 prefer shopping
as
Suggestion
at
 their favourite famous pass time.
Firstly
, buying things from retail shops or online is
intersting
arousing or holding the attention
interesting
 and trendy
.
Accept space
.
In other words
, by shopping latest fashion people feels good and happy.
Secondly
, shopping acts as a stress buster in today's busy
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
frieds
a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
friends
 can plan
shopping
Suggestion
to shop
 on weekends that eventually will increase their bonding and it acts as
stress buster
Suggestion
a stress buster
stress busters
.
Accept space
.
 Shopping is always considered as a positive trend because it has many advantages
.
Accept space
.
 One of the primary
benefit
Suggestion
benefits
 is that people can always be fashionable by purchasing recent fashions from the retail shops. Another point is people can save money by shopping when there is an offer going on especially from online shopping sites.
For example
, many retail shops and online portals are giving weekend offers and clearance sale which will help people to do
budjet
a sum of money allocated for a particular purpose
budget
 shopping.
However
, shopping should be
with in
internal to, not outside; located in the bounds of
within
 the
budject
a sum of money allocated for a particular purpose
budget
.
Accept space
.
ie
Suggestion
IE
I
i.e.
, it should be within our
budject
a sum of money allocated for a particular purpose
budget
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion, shopping is considered as the most popular leisure activity across the world and it has many remarkable benefits.
Submitted by lijiac020 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: