in some countries more and more shops are open long hours every day. what are the positive and negative developments of this

#countries #shops #hours #developments

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Nowadays, there are increasing numbers of shops which open for more hours a day.

This

Linking Words

leads to a recent argument by members of the community who wonder the impacts of it.

Hence

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, to settle the dispute, a

further

Linking Words

discussion will be given below.

To begin

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with, there may be security issues if shops open for

longer period

Suggestion

a longer period

longer periods

time

Use synonyms

. What I mean by

this

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is, crime rates at night are relatively higher in most places,

as a result

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, robberies are more likely to occur.

Consequently

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, lost and injuries will happen in

this

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incident.

This

Linking Words

is evident by the data which are released by French Police, stating that the possibility of stores to get

rob

Suggestion

robbed

at night are over 50%. Needless to say, opening for more hours at night, it may harm the store financially and the people inside physically.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, every mater owns

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

benefits and drawbacks. Even though

crimes

Suggestion

the crimes

tend to occur, employees will have more

time

Use synonyms

for shopping and

store

Suggestion

the store

will earn more profits.

This

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may happen since in most nations shops close at 17:30 while office workers get off work at 17.00, causing them to have inadequate

time

Use synonyms

of purchasing groceries and other household goods. By having longer store’s

operational

Suggestion

operating

hours, people are able to shop

more daily

Suggestion

most daily

needs.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, as people

purchases

Suggestion

purchase

more items, the profit generated by stores will surge.

This

Linking Words

is proven by annual financial reports of Indonesia’s leading supermarkets in which those who open for longer

time

Use synonyms

generates more income. To conclude, after having some points above,

although

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opening for longer hours may lead to higher chances of robberies, the advantages from

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

perspective outweigh the disadvantages.

This

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is because of more clients are able to go for shopping which eventually contributes to a higher income.

Submitted by melvern.elva on Sat Jul 13 2019

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Your opinion

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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in some countries more and more shops are open long hours every day. what are the positive and negative developments of this

Your opinion

The Education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. some believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.