Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases

In recent years, due to the advanced technology, the technological applications have drawn public attention. Some of them maybe threaten human's

security

Accept comma addition

security, such

such

as stalking mobile phone and video surveillance. In the most common cases, there are many people do not realize that they are being witnessed.

This

essay will discuss the positives and negatives of the above view and I strongly believe that it has more benefits for our society. It is demonstrated that the utilization of technological devices has increased. It is no doubt that there are many video cameras which are located at everywhere by authorities and phone-tracking systems which monitors their residents' behaviours. It is

unfavorable

not encouraging or approving or pleasing

unfavourable

for the general public since the monitoring data is confidential.

In other words

, they are notified to the public. If these data are misused by the member of the authorities like being sold to another party for business or political purposes, the citizens' privacy will be attacked and they will not easily aware of.

Although

the developed techniques have created

insecure situation

Suggestion

an insecure situation

the insecure situation

to the people, it still brings many advantages for them if

such

techniques are utilized properly.

For instance

, with the existence of CCTV, it is helpful for the police department to prevent and investigate and crime activities. If the advancement of monitoring activities are being continued, the difficulties of criminals will dramatically

climbed

Suggestion

climb

up and it

also

reduced the number of crimes. In conclusion, it

is indicated

Suggestion

indicates

that the popularity of the usage of advanced technology tools

Suggestion

the government.

In addition

, in common cases, these monitoring activities are not informed to the public that may be harmful to their privacy.

However

, in my opinion, it will have more advantages than that

disadvantages

Suggestion

disadvantage

if that tools are used appropriately.

Submitted by ycanquan on Mon Jul 15 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary, while others believe that public libraries still perform useful functions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.