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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

There has always been a controversy regarding whether or not traditional
cultures
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 will be lost as
technology
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 develops. Many
people
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 argue that
technology
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 and traditional
cultures
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 are incompatible
while
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 many others hold opposing views. As far as I am concerned, I strongly disagree with that statement. First of all, many teenagers use social media, which is a great way to promote their
cultures
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.
For instance
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, TikTok is a popular app where teenagers share content. There are a lot of trends and videos shared online by many
people
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 worldwide.
People
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 may upload videos based on their clothing and eating habits, which may represent their culture.
This
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 is informative and allows
people
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 from other countries to learn about different traditions and philosophies.
Moreover
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, an improvement in
technology
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 allows better access to the Internet, which is a useful learning resource.
This
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 means that more research can be done on traditions.
This
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 allows more
people
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 to be aware of their origins and roots and find ways to preserve
it
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them
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, there are still many customs and festivals that occur every year no matter how much
technology
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 changes.
For example
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, in Thailand, a water festival called Songkran is celebrated every year, which represents the beginning of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Thai New Year.
Likewise
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, another festival called Loy Krathong is
also
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 celebrated annually. It's when
people
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 pay respect to the Buddha and Goddess of Water by floating a ‘Krathong’, which is a banana leaf with candles and flowers. In a nutshell, there are many traditional
cultures
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 that are passed down from the older to the newer generations.
Technology
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 could help preserve the culture, not neglect it.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to your main idea and supports your argument.
task achievement
Add a few more examples or details to support your points better.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and gave strong reasons.
task achievement
You included specific examples of cultural festivals to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inevitable
  • traditional cultures
  • technological development
  • modern society
  • incompatible
  • decline
  • traditional crafts
  • rituals
  • digital communication
  • preserve
  • promote
  • documentation
  • online archives
  • virtual museums
  • social media
  • coexist
  • integrates
  • digital storytelling
  • augmented reality
  • cultural tourism
  • perspective
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