IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if the wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Currently, careers
such
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 as doctors and engineers are crucial to society. Some people believe that these
professionals
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 should remain in their home
country
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,
while
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 others support the idea of them working abroad if they choose.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives. On one hand, some individuals believe that
professionals
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 should
work
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 in their own
country
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 since they have studied and trained there.
Therefore
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, they should stay to help develop their hometown and care for local citizens rather than working
elsewhere
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.
However
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, if all
professionals
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 stayed in their
country
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, it could lead to increased competition for jobs.
Consequently
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, many doctors or engineers might face unemployment, resulting in numerous job vacancies in society.
On the other hand
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, many people argue that experts should have the freedom to choose their career paths, including the option to
work
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 abroad if given the opportunity. They should not be restricted to working only within their
country
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 but should be able to contribute globally with support from relevant parties.
For example
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, authorities could provide contacts or funds to help experts explore
work
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 opportunities in other countries, potentially creating alternative career paths for younger generations. In my opinion, esteemed careers like engineers should have the chance to
work
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 on a global scale to achieve success.
For instance
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, if an expert has the opportunity to
work
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 at an international company, they might establish projects that bring value and reputation to themselves and their
country
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. With support from citizens and authorities allowing
professionals
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 to
work
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 abroad, these individuals could bring pride and achievements back home.
To conclude
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,
professionals
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 should have the freedom to choose to
work
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 either inside or outside their hometown, as their talents can create value not only for their fellow citizens but
also
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 on a global scale.

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task achievement
Ensure that each point made in the body paragraphs is consistently supported with specific examples. While your ideas are clear, adding more concrete examples would enhance your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transitions between ideas and paragraphs for smoother flow. Using linking words and phrases effectively can strengthen the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on each perspective a bit more. More depth in the discussion of each viewpoint can provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and balanced discussion of both views, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with well-defined paragraphs including introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your opinion is clearly stated in the conclusion, reinforcing your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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