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Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that children should be given lesson of how to manage money in the school? do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #lesson #money #school
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In
this
Linking Words
 expensive world
,
Accept space
,
 people are
become
Suggestion
becoming
 more
consious
intentionally conceived
conscious
 about
money
Use synonyms
 and their expenses.
parents
Suggestion
Parents
 want that their children should learn how to spend
money
Use synonyms
 in their childhood from the school so that they may have
better
Suggestion
a better future
future
Use synonyms
. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
becuase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 it is essential for every person to learn about
money
Use synonyms
 management.
Money
Use synonyms
 is
depressable
Suggestion
 factor for surviving. In the world of
deigitalization
conversion of analog information into digital information
digitization
, youth become spending more
money
Use synonyms
 in showing
themseleves
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
 best in front of society. They are so
counsious
intentionally conceived
conscious
 about their looks and lifestyle. They
wants
Suggestion
want
 to live a lavish lifestyle in compare to others.
children
Suggestion
Children
 have
influnced
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influenced
 by
addvertising
a public promotion of some product or service
advertising
 and spending
huge amount
Suggestion
huge amounts
a huge amount
 of
money
Use synonyms
 in buying video games, clothes
,
Accept space
,
 food and digital toys.
these
Suggestion
These
 are the factors that
affacting
arousing affect
affecting
budget
Suggestion
the budget
 of an individual family.
parents
Suggestion
Parents
 who
can not
can not
cannot
 afford those expenses are getting tired to
fuillfill
put in effect
fulfil
fulfilled
 their child needs.
children
Suggestion
Children
does not like
Suggestion
do not like
 to
listen
perceive (sound) via the auditory sense
hear
 their parents
thats
Suggestion
that's
 why
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe that our education system should teach them how to manage
money
Use synonyms
 and its importance. In other
side the
Accept comma addition
side, then
side then
 its a
responsibilty
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
 of parents that they should
taken
Suggestion
take
 care of their child's expenses.
they
Suggestion
They
 should refuse to do spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
unneccesory
not necessary
unnecessary
 things.
they
Suggestion
They
 should teach
to them how to
Suggestion
them how to
 save
money
Use synonyms
 for
future
Use synonyms
 use and how to invest it for getting high profit so the children have
safe
Suggestion
a safe future
future
Use synonyms
. To conclude, its not only the
responsbility
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
responsibilities
 of
education system but
Suggestion
the education system, but
the education system but
also
Linking Words
 of parents.
youth
Suggestion
Youth
 is
future
Use synonyms
 of society and nation.
they
Suggestion
They
 must have to concern by their own.
Submitted by meghna.parmar10 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial education
  • value of money
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • financial goals
  • planning
  • curriculum
  • responsible spending habits
  • debt prevention
  • parental responsibility
  • educational requirements
  • commercial interests
  • mathematics integration
  • social studies
  • bridging the gap
What to do next:
Look at other essays: