IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

An increasing number of people are buying items which they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online.

#people #items #individuals #companies
More and more people are purchasing items they require on
shops
Suggestion
shop
 online. Despite its numerous benefits
such
 as convenience and privacy, there are
also
 drawbacks that should be taken into account.
Firstly
,
one
 positive aspect of shopping over the internet is that it is very convenient.
For
example individuals
Accept comma addition
example, individuals
 can order goods from the comfort of their homes and company managers can afford to run their business from any part of the world,
this
 saves time and energy as factors like overcrowding are eliminated.
Secondly
, buying products from the internet is advantageous because it offers privacy.
For instance
, a person who wants to get discreet items
such
 as lingerie or adult toys can do so without shame or discrimination.
Additionally
, online stores are open for 24hours and
this
 results in a bigger customer pool with potential for rapid growth of business thereby favouring the company.
On the other hand
,
one
 problem with buying goods online is that
one
 cannot readily access the product and there is no touch and feel necessary for materials like clothing and
jewelry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
hence
 quality may not be determined.
Moreover
, issues of website cost
also
 arise
for
Suggestion
from
in
 the company as designing and maintaining a professional website is not cheap. Another downside for both parties involved is that shopping on the internet can expose
one
 to scam.
For example
, credit card scam, counterfeit products and hackers are some of the kind of
fraud they
Accept comma addition
fraud, they
 may have to encounter and
this
 can deter
one
 from taking part in online retail. In conclusion, while some people and organisations benefit from shopping online, it can lead to fraud and product
disatisfaction
the feeling of being displeased and discontent
dissatisfaction
.
Submitted by Chika on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: