IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should therefore be stopped. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the presence of immigrant
workers
Use synonyms
 in the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market has sparked widespread debate. Some argue that hiring foreign
workers
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 for jobs that local citizens are unwilling to do can create social issues and should
therefore
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 be prohibited. I strongly agree with
this
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 view, as it can disrupt cultural preservation and contribute to an increase in crime rates.
This
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 essay will explore these concerns in detail. One significant drawback of employing foreign
workers
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 is the potential erosion of local cultural identity. Migrant
workers
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 often bring their customs, traditions, and lifestyles, which may gradually reshape the social fabric of the host country.
For example
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, a report by the BBC highlighted how parts of Birmingham have undergone cultural transformation
due to
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 an influx of immigrant communities, with traditional British establishments being replaced by foreign businesses and cultural practices.
While
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 cultural diversity can be enriching, rapid and large-scale changes may lead to tensions between locals and newcomers, causing divisions within society. Another major concern is the potential rise in criminal activities associated with foreign
workers
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. Studies indicate that individuals residing in a foreign country temporarily may be more likely to engage in illegal activities
due to
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 a lack of long-term accountability.
For instance
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, an analysis of crime statistics by the FBI in 2021 found that a disproportionate number of individuals involved in organized crimes had entered the country as temporary
workers
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 or visitors.
Although
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 not all migrant
workers
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 engage in criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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, a lack of proper monitoring and integration programs may increase the risk of unlawful activities, thereby jeopardizing community safety. In conclusion,
while
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 foreign
workers
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 play a role in filling
labor
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labour
show examples
 shortages, their presence can lead to significant challenges
such
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 as cultural displacement and an increased crime rate.
Therefore
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, governments should consider stricter immigration and employment policies to ensure that local values and community safety are preserved. Balancing economic needs with societal stability is essential for maintaining social harmony

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task achievement
Consider discussing potential benefits of foreign workers alongside the challenges to provide a more balanced view. This could enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence and cohesion
While your paragraphs are generally well-structured, you could improve coherence by using more varied transition words to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines your position and provides a clear direction for the essay.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the report by the BBC and the analysis of FBI crime statistics, strengthens your argument.
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