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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. Others, however, believe that girls and boys benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #school #benefit #schools
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Nowadays, two
school
Suggestion
schools
 of thoughts are present in the society regarding education system. Some are of the notion that
gender
Use synonyms
 specific schools are more beneficial for adolescence as it allows to focus on
study
Use synonyms
 and avoids harmful activities.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, a group of people argue on the favour of
co-education
Use synonyms
 considering the competitive
environment it
Accept comma addition
environment, it
 offers and the scope to become respectful
to
Suggestion
of
opposite
Suggestion
the opposite gender
gender
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will depict both the views and will point out my personal opinion as I recapitulate.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people who believe in
separate
Suggestion
separation
 schooling mostly advocate
this
Linking Words
 system as
effective way
Suggestion
an effective way
 to grasp the student’s focus. By
this
Linking Words
 I am referring to the fact that
young generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
younger generation
tend
Suggestion
tends
follow
Suggestion
to follow
 the
study
Use synonyms
 materials and teacher’s command attentively when there is no other distraction from
opposite
Suggestion
the opposite gender
gender
Use synonyms
. A recent
study
Use synonyms
 has shown that parents who prefers boys or girls only institutes marked concentration
to
Suggestion
of
 academic activities as the key reason behind preferring it over
co-education
Use synonyms
. Another reason is that, parents often like single
gender
Use synonyms
 campus because of safety. They fear that female students may get harassed by the male classmates, or even there can be
chaotic situation
Suggestion
a chaotic situation
 between male and female group if they do not bond well.
For example
Linking Words
, a feature in The Guardian has mentioned that young boys are usually naughtier than the girls which may cause
unhealthy situation
Suggestion
an unhealthy situation
 in campuses unless it has been taken care by
school authority
Suggestion
school authorities
the school authority
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, mixed schooling allows
student
Suggestion
students
the student
a student
 to be competitive. To elaborate, by natural instinct most of them
study
Use synonyms
 harder to achieve
better result
Suggestion
better results
a better result
 than the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 healthy competition prepares them for the professional life where both the
Use synonyms
gender
Suggestion
genders
 will work
hand
Use synonyms
 in
hand
Use synonyms
. A survey from Harvard University has shown that pupil
study
Use synonyms
 20 times more in co-ed environment due to challenge they feel from
opposite
Suggestion
the opposite gender
gender
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, when everyone studies together, they learn to respect each other. To be precise, studying in
co-education
Use synonyms
 allows one to be more respectful and resistant to
opposite
Suggestion
the opposite gender
gender
Use synonyms
. Students do not only become conscious about
gender
Use synonyms
 equality, women right
etc
Suggestion
, but
also
Linking Words
 grow empathy for
gender
Use synonyms
 related issues as they build
friendship
Suggestion
a friendship
friendships
 with opposite
gender
Use synonyms
 from the early stage of their life.
For example
Linking Words
; people with
co-education
Use synonyms
 background are often found to be more open minded towards
opposite
Suggestion
the opposite gender
gender
Use synonyms
. To conclude, there are some pros for both the education system, single
gender
Use synonyms
 schooling and for
co-education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, my personal opinion would go for mixed schooling as the feeling of competition and practicing to respect each other help the young mind in a broader way.
Submitted by Shahla on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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