IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today people are living a longer life so they should have to work longer. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is being proposed that as life expectancy has inclined, folks should be engaged in work for a longer period. I bolster
this
Linking Words
 notion because it will curtail
burden
Suggestion
the burden
 on the family, as well as will promote well being of an individual. To embark on,
load
Suggestion
the load
 on the shoulders of family members would be mitigated. As a family prospers, financial responsibility ensues. In
such
Linking Words
 a situation, if the elders continue to do either a job or a business,
then
Linking Words
 it would certainly help others, and they will be revered for the immense
contributive
Suggestion
. Even though the remuneration may not be enough, the golden-aged people would be sufficient in taking care of their expenses,
such
Linking Words
 as medical expenditures. While the senior citizens are regarded as a mere heavy weight on the earth, even the least they earn counts for the economic development of a nation as well. To exemplify, in India, it is common to relieve the workforce at the age of 60;
however
Linking Words
, retired public find alternative work profiles in order to be an asset for the loved ones. To elucidate
further
Linking Words
, working beyond a specific time, a person physically and mentally fit. Till the masses are young, fear of diseases does not crop up, but when one enters the old age, myriad
health
Use synonyms
 issues rise their heads,
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes, joint pain, and knee dislocation. Engrossed in service, even for a specific proportion, aids in leaving behind the sedentary lifestyle, which is quite a common phenomenon in the present era. A
Use synonyms
health
Suggestion
healthy
 individual hardly encounters fatal ramifications,
such
Linking Words
 as cancer. To exemplify, in the United Kingdom, a segment of the elder generation, which are occupied in some sort of occupation faces 50% less issues pertaining to
health
Use synonyms
 compared to the unemployed population. To encapsulate, I firmly believe that due to increment in the age of the human race, one ought to be indulged in some vocation to alleviate the strain on the near and dear ones, as well as to restore good
health
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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