IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer
In the age of technology exploding, some people hold the belief that
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 can replace the needed of museums and exhibitions since all information about it are available on the websites.
Although
 the idea is not without advantages, the returns can justify these. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons leading to
this
 belief.
First
, by using Internet from
computer
Suggestion
a computer
the computer
, people are covered with
myriad
Suggestion
a myriad
myriads
the myriad
 of information from the artworks’ origins of the story behind any historical events. In fact,
this
 alternative is not only time-saving but
also
 economical, which is of great concerns for those who only need to search for information and solve the unknown.
Second
, online museums and exhibitions offer customers exceptional services that cannot be found at the real ones.
For example
, the Internet has no opening time limit which cannot be served by the real museums and art galleries due to the lack of capacities.
On the other hand
, memorial houses and art museums still win the credit of filling people with insights and values that modern technology has failed to. In contrary to the online one, the real destinations offer the
first
-hand experience to visitors.
In other words
, admirers can directly sense the atmosphere of historical events as well as contemplate artistic masterpieces with their bare eyes.
In addition
, these famous locations have a pivotal role to play in attracting visitors who are keen on understanding the country’s cultural and traditional values thereby contributing a significant proportion of government revenue.
Nevertheless
, exhibitions directors should alter the way historical or art relics are presented to visitors by applying state-of-the-art technology so that visitors are more willing to visit with an enjoyable experience rather than seeing it on the computer screen. In conclusion, even though making use of
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 is a great way to learn about historical works and objects, museums and exhibitions are still irreplaceable.
Submitted by tn.ngo296 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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