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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

#childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunise #children #individuals #right
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In the present world
,
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,
there are
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of diseases which can be cured with the help of
vaccination
Use synonyms
.In some places
Goverment
Suggestion
Government
are planning
Suggestion
is planning
 to enact law against
guarding
Suggestion
guards
 that
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 should be immunized or they should be given
choice
Suggestion
a choice
the choice
choices
 on vaccinating their kids.In
this
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 essay both the statements with
be
Suggestion
being
ellaborated
developed or executed with care and in minute detail
elaborated
elaborate
 with appropriate examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Some diseases can be controlled with the help of early vaccines.Because vaccine
generate
Suggestion
generates
 immunization within the body which help
body
Suggestion
the body
 to fight against flu
,
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,
tuberclosis
infection transmitted by inhalation or ingestion of tubercle bacilli and manifested in fever and small lesions (usually in the lungs but in various other parts of the body in acute stages)
tuberculosis
 and some other minor problems.Due to medical history on some nation which have made them pass
law
Suggestion
a law
 for early immunization.
For example
Linking Words
,
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,
In Japan due to Influenza virus spread across the country
,
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,
Goverment
Suggestion
the Government
Government
 had to pass the law for early
vaccination
Use synonyms
 on forthcoming babies.
However
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,
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,
Due to some medical equipment some people rather avoid or hesitate to choose
midcal
relating to the study or practice of medicine
medical
vaccination
Use synonyms
.Some
vaccination
Use synonyms
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
use
Suggestion
uses
 old and rusty equipment
,
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,
which results in death.
For instance
Linking Words
,
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,
In India when a medical officer was inspecting a
vaccination
Use synonyms
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 found that the employees were using one syringe to 40 babies at a time
.
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.
This
Linking Words
 tends the
indian
a member of the race of people living in America when Europeans arrived
Indian
 people to think more
on
Suggestion
about
 giving
vaccination
Use synonyms
to
Suggestion
for
 their children. To sum up, Children should be vaccinated because it cures some normal diseases.
However
Linking Words
,
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,
they should not if they are not using the correct equipment to
vaccine
Suggestion
the vaccine
vaccines
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by jimith on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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