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Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#governments #support #artists #people #waste #money
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Artists often receive major financial
support
Use synonyms
 from the state,
however
Linking Words
, some argue that the national budget should be used in other relevant areas of concern.
Although
Linking Words
 the artworks of
such
Linking Words
 people increase tourist attraction, I believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend more on the health problems faced by a country. One of the major reasons why the
government
Use synonyms
 gives a lot of
support
Use synonyms
 to these artists is because they attract tourists. Painters, sculptors and other artists are born with natural talents and they bring forth
pride
Suggestion
the pride
 to their countries. The collection of their masterpieces is mostly displayed in museums where local residents and people from overseas can see and appreciate.
For example
Linking Words
, millions of people around the world visit the Louvre Museum, which is the home of the Monalisa painting, one of the finest works of the famous Renaissance artist, Leonardo da Vinci.
However
Linking Words
, I do not
support
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 idea and consider it just a waste of money because the country should give more attention to other crucial problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the national budget should be allotted to the nation's bigger problem like health. Many people who are suffering from various diseases do not come from well-off families. Most of them have poor financial status and do not have the capacity to afford medical treatment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the patients often complain that the
government
Use synonyms
 lacks the compassion to offer assistance for them to get cured.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the Philippines, a survey conducted in 2016 revealed that 7 out of 10 people die from critical diseases because they do not have the financial power to have access to the needed medical intervention. If the
government
Use synonyms
 is really
concern
Suggestion
concerned
 with the welfare of its citizens,
then
Linking Words
, allocating budget to provide free medical services should be prioritized. In conclusion, despite the fact that the
support
Use synonyms
 given to various artists results in a positive impact on tourism, I believe that
government
Use synonyms
 should be more concern in the health of the society
instead
Linking Words
.
Submitted by jesf.hp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
What to do next:
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