IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

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It is a fact that online communication is growing globally these days. Many
people
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 prefer to interact through online platforms
instead
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 of meeting in person, I believe that the virtual world offers valuable opportunities to new generations and assists them in overcoming limitations and obstacles
such
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 as
distance
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. First of all, using social
media
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 saves
time
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 and money. Meeting
people
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 in person can cost a lot and require hours of preparation. By confirming a
face to-face
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face-to-face
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 meeting, there are several activities that you have unconsciously approved, including the arrangement of a decent place for a meeting, setting an available
time
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 for the participants so that they can all attend and selection of
an
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apply
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appropriate clothing.
Also
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, transportation needs to be considered.
However
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, online communications are an alternative method to not squander your financial resources and
time
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 by which you can interact with anyone at any
time
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 possible tumbling in the warmth of your bed with convenient clothes.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 removes
distance
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 barriers and borders. The online platforms create a connected world where you can get in touch with
people
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 all around the universe in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 blink of an eye. In fact,
distance
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 no longer matters and
people
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 communicate with each other through social
media
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.
For example
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, online education enables
people
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 to share their knowledge globally without any concerns about
distance
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 or nationality
while
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such
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 communication usually will not be possible in person. In conclusion, Online communication is evolving and
people
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 tune into social
media
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 more and more. Considering the convenience and opportunities that it provides for us today, I believe that its growing trend certainly has positive effects.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity by avoiding repetitive ideas. For instance, discussing time and financial savings could be summarized more concisely.
task achievement
Integrate more specific examples to support your points. Specific details can significantly enhance your arguments.
task achievement
Address potential counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view. Recognizing counterpoints can deepen the analysis.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more effectively to smoothly connect paragraphs and ideas. For example, use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand.'
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Effective thesis statement and clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
Discussion of multiple advantages provides a comprehensive overview.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • online interactions
  • virtual communication
  • global community
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital divide
  • cyberspace
  • virtual presence
  • social networking
  • mental wellbeing
  • digital literacy
  • safe spaces
  • marginalized groups
  • face-to-face communication
  • socialisation
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