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Band 5.5

Nowdays, some parents pressure their children to be successful. What are the reasons of this? is this a positive or a negative development?

#nowdays #parents #pressure #children #development
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Every parent
want
Suggestion
wants
 their
child
Use synonyms
 to
secceed
attain success or reach a desired goal
succeed
 in
life
Use synonyms
 and become the best he can.
Although
Linking Words
 we wish the best for
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
a child
children
the child
, we can sometimes exert too much
pressure
Use synonyms
 which can be harmful and lead to the opposite result. There are several reasons why we
pressure
Use synonyms
 our children.
First
Linking Words
, as adults we are more aware of the required steps in order to succeed in
life
Use synonyms
. As an example, we know that studying physics will assist our children substantially more than studying music. As a
consequence we
Accept comma addition
consequence, we
pressure
Use synonyms
 our children to study what we think they need in order to manage in
life
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, rather than what they find interesting.
Second
Linking Words
, many parents want their children to succeed where they have failed. To illustrate, parents who did not get accepted to the university will push their
child
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 to have good grades so that he will graduate the university.
Third
Linking Words
, many believe it is harder today to succeed than in previous years.
This
Linking Words
 is
especialy
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
trues
Suggestion
true
 in
competative
involving competition or competitiveness
competitive
prefessions
the body of people in a learned occupation
professions
,
such
Linking Words
 as medicine, computers or
the the
definite article
the
 academy.
As a result
Linking Words
, parent
pressure
Use synonyms
 their
childre
a young person of either sex
children
child
to get
Suggestion
get
 better grades, in
comparisson
the act of examining resemblances
comparison
 to what they did, so that they will have a secure job later in
life
Use synonyms
. Pressuring our children, in my opinion, is a negative development that will, in most cases, do more harm than good.
This
Linking Words
 is because
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe a
child
Use synonyms
 should find its own path in
life
Use synonyms
 and should not be directed according to
hes
male possessive pronoun
his
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 wishes. The consequences of pressuring a teenager has been shown in a large study done
in
Suggestion
at
 Harvard
University which
Accept comma addition
University, which
 showed a 30% higher
incedence
the relative frequency of occurrence of something
incidence
 of substance abuse and depression among these children.
This
Linking Words
 research illustrates the possible unwanted results of pressuring our
child
Use synonyms
 and show that we should direct our
child
Use synonyms
 and not push him. In conclusion, our children need
guidence
something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
guidance
 and direction.
Linking Words
This
Accept comma addition
This, however
however
Linking Words
, should be done gently or else it might lead to unwanted results.
Submitted by chilafp on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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