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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Sports
Use synonyms
 are an indispensable part of our life, as for some it may be a job, for others entertainment, and for many
people
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 a way to stay healthy and fit. Many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that certain
sports
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 should be banned
due to
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 the risk of injury,
whereas
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 others believe that individuals should have the freedom to decide for themselves. Over the
last
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 century, there has been a rise in individualism, and many now consider freedom the highest personal value.
Consequently
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, for many
people
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, it may be crucial to have the opportunity to compete in dangerous
sports
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, even if
this
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 poses a serious threat to their health.
In addition
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, banning a sport may be too radical, as there are alternatives
such
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 as establishing clearer and safer rules.
Last
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 but not least, sport is a significant money generator, and prohibiting one discipline could negatively affect the economy.
On the other hand
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, there are several arguments for banning
such
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sports
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. The risk of injury is extremely high in dangerous disciplines, which explains why many
sports
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 associations demand their closure.
Furthermore
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, young
people
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 may experience pressure through social media and be encouraged to try
such
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 activities without understanding the risks.
In addition
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, any tragic incident may require substantial funding for medical aid and support for those affected. In conclusion,
although
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 dangerous
sports
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 are associated with considerable risks, I believe they should not be banned.
Instead
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, clear regulations, proper training, and safety measures can allow
people
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their freedom of choice
while
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 still ensuring a responsible level of protection.

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task
Start with a clear answer to the task. State your view in the first or second line.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, so, also. Use clear sign words.
examples
Give one or two exact examples to prove a point.
accuracy
Check small grammar and word choice to keep the sense easy to read.
strength
Your view is clear and stated in the end.
structure
You use both sides before you give your own view.
coherence
The piece keeps a calm tone and a good flow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
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