IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #support #artists #people #waste #money
Although
 it is thought by some that the
government
 focusing more on supporting artist is a waste and that the funds should be diverted into other sections. In my opinion, I believe that these resources could be used in other areas like the
health
industry
 in order to enhance the quality of
lives
Suggestion
the lives
 of the public. On the one hand, some people think that governments need to support the artists because they cannot raise enough funds to run the
industry
.
In other words
, artists require help because the revenue generated cannot be sufficient to effectively provide the services required of them.
Furthermore
, in order to prevent high entrance fee to places
on
Suggestion
of
 interest like the art galleries, museums it is essential that the state continually
supprts
give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to
supports
support
 the artists.
For example
, there was a low turnout at the opening of the National
museum
a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value
Museum
 in Lagos
as a result
 of the high entrance fee. The management complained that lack of support from the governing bodies resulted in the high gate fee.
On the other hand
, it is thought by another set that the funds expended on the artists can be used to augment the
health
 sector in order to improve quality of lives and I agree.
In other words
, the
government
 can provide various machinery and other high end equipments,
consequently
,
this
 will help the doctors and nurses carry out their job effortlessly and provide outstanding results.
For example
, since the
government
imcreased
made greater in size or amount or degree
increased
increase
 the Nigerian budget increased the budget of the
health
industry
 and dropped that of the art
industry
, there has been a remarkable reduction in the mortality rate recorded.
This
 emphasizes the need of
government
 increased and continual support the
health
 sector. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I believe that it is highly essential that the
government
 focuses more on improving the
health
 of the public by providing high end equipments to ease the jobs of the
health
 practitioners.
Submitted by Mabel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
What to do next:
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