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Band 7.5

Some people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
Some people argue that they have the right to keep all the income they earn, with no obligation, and no need to pay
taxes
 to the
government
. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
 approach because taxation helps to grow the economic rate of any country and can
also
 reduce economic inequality. The most axiomatic argument about paying
taxes
 to the state is that it can help economic development. Given the fact that the
government
 can allocate the obtained tax to various areas
such
 as infrastructure, education and healthcare,
therefore
, investing in other mentioned categories will not only lead to economic prosperity but
also
 improve the living conditions of the people.
For example
, Japan's
government
's focus on literacy and healthcare has led to educational and economic advancements in the country. Simply put, the healthier the
society
, the more successful it will be. Another compelling support for
this
 approach is establishing economic balance. Taxation can be used as a tool to redistribute wealth and reduce economic inequality, which can have
a positive social and economic impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive social and economic impact
positive social and economic impacts
show examples
.
Therefore
, if the
government
taxes
 the rich and spends on the welfare of the poor, over time discipline and equality will be formed in
society
 and the level of people's satisfaction will increase. In conclusion,
While
 it is understandable that individuals may keep the fruit of their labour, it is important to recognize the collective benefits it provides,
such
 as reducing the amount of poverty in
society
,
as well as
 the economic growth
that is
 achieved by applying
taxes
 to essential services in the
society
. Relying on the mentioned justifications, I reaffirm my stand.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the question in the introduction and clearly state your opinion. This will strengthen your task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay demonstrates a strong command of logical structure, keep working on seamlessly integrating examples into your arguments for an even more persuasive effect.
Language
Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures will not only make your essay more engaging but also showcase your language skills.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which greatly aids in understanding your arguments.
Task Achievement
You have effectively included relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument and task achievement.
Task Achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and the primary reasons supporting it, providing a satisfactory closure to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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