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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online compared to shopping in physical stores?

#stores
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In the modern era, with developed technology,
people
Use synonyms
 have been able to shop for most
items
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 via the
Internet
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 which is already prevalent in an individual's daily life.
Although
Linking Words
 a disadvantage of online shopping can be pointed out, there are more advantages of consuming
from
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apply
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internet
Use synonyms
-based shopping compared to going to the shop in person. Both merit and demerit opinions will be discussed below.
To begin
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 with, it cannot be ignored that shopping on the
Internet
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 encourages
people
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 to get more things which
people
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 do not need.
This
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 can be based on the nature of shopping websites. To exemplify
this
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, when
people
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 are looking for an item that they need, their algorithm leads them to other related options they might be interested in.
Furthermore
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, what consumers need is just clicking to pay which is way easier to pay for compared to physical shopping.
This
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 eventually makes
people
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 buy unnecessary products which charge them unexpected money.
For
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this
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 reason,
this
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 downward can be seen in terms of online purchases.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, allowing
people
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 to be delivered with what they get from the
internet
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 brings massive convenience by saving their actual time and energy to shop for their daily
items
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 including food and daily living
items
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that contemporary
people
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 do not have to go to actual shops to buy something they need as many different apps for food
ingredient
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ingredients
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, clothes, other fashion
items
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, and even home appliances have been established and they deliver them to the consumer's door.
As a result
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, busy individuals can spend their time on more productive things for their self-care or work.
Therefore
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, the outstanding advancement of online shopping cannot be deniable when it comes to
people
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's quality of life.
To conclude
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, in spite of the negative aspects of
internet
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 shopping can be notable, the benefits from online purchases can be found in saving
people
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's time which might be allocated to their downtime compared to actual shopping.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your essay's coherence and cohesion, make sure to clearly outline your main ideas in the introduction and draw more distinct connections between them throughout the essay. Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow and logic of your argument.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Include more detailed examples to support your points, which will also help demonstrate clear and comprehensive ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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