It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business rather than work for an employer. Do you think the disadvantages of working for yourself outweigh the disadvantages ?

#aspiration #people #business #work #employer

There is a typical idea that the

youth

prefer having their own

business

than being employed. In my opinion,

startup

Suggestion

start up

business

at the early ages brings more benefits than drawbacks. It is easy to realize that working for an employer has some advantages.

Firstly

, after

graduated

Suggestion

graduating

from university or high school, people often apply to the company which is relevant to their majors and enjoy the permanent

life

Thus

, having a stable job can help the

youth

to solve

many common problems to

Suggestion

many common problems

which most of graduated people must face,

such

as accommodation, money or social position.

Secondly

, being a hard - working employee

often have

Suggestion

often has

has often had

marvelous

extraordinarily good or great; used especially as an intensifier

marvellous

opportunities to get high promotion. As the result, the salary and individual image are improved.

However

, running an own

business

also

brings more benefits for the

youth

Firstly

, it helps young people to gain more

life

experiment. It is no doubt that adolescence has more time to discover

life

and learn from their own mistakes.

Secondly

, startup at the early ages gives them an opportunity to mature faster.

Thus

, when having an own

business

, the juvenility must face

Suggestion

with

lots of problems requiring high experiment. As the result, whether the issues are solved or not, they still archive new things: an experiment or a lesion.

Finally

, it

is the

Accept comma addition

is, the

chances to develop themselves.

For example

, opening a company forces the

youth

to figure out the method to manage time, money and people.

Furthermore

, it is a great chance to meet new people, persuade to do

business

and upgrade social relationship. In conclusion, it is delightful to have a stable job.

However

, starting own

business

helps the

youth

understand the value of

life

and figure out their potential.

Sun Aug 04 2019

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

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Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aspiration
entrepreneur
flexibility
decision-making
financial rewards
personal fulfillment
challenges
financial risk
invested capital
cash flow
guaranteed income
work-life balance
responsibility
pressure
burnout

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It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business rather than work for an employer. Do you think the disadvantages of working for yourself outweigh the disadvantages ?

Today, some food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat locally produced food. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

a person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social and material possessions. old- fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?

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In many countries governments are investing in new technology to dealt with the public Why is this happening? Do u think this is an appropriate use of government?